By Amatullah
Abdullah, Staff Writer
Children
are a great blessing from Allah. With their tender hearts, children can
be molded into righteous people only with a positive and tender
approach. Islam considers children to be an amanah (trust) given to the
family and says it is fard (obligatory) for the family to raise a child
in a righteous manner. One should not favor one child over another. In
Islam, both male and female children should be treated equally and
should be loved and cherished. The children have certain rights over
their parents; it is the family's obligation to shelter, feed, clothe,
educate, support, nurture, and love them.
In
today's world many
parents are so immersed in worldly life that they forget to pay
attention to their children. Many parents think that providing
financial support for their child is enough. The fact is, financial
support alone doesn't fulfill a parent's duty towards their child. One
can only win a child's heart through love and a gentle attitude. It is
the child's right to be loved and cherished.
I remember that, as
a child, I yearned for the attention of my family, but being in a joint
family—my family and my uncle's family lived together and a few other
cousins stayed with us as their parents were working abroad—did not
give me the opportunity to experience the kind of attention I expected.
My parents felt that they should not express their love for their
children in front of others, as people might think they were favoring
us. As a child (and even now), I heard people saying "We need not to
express our love to prove that it is there, it is enough to have a
loving heart." But the fact is that only when one expresses love to a
child will the child feel more confident and stronger. Children have
the capacity to easily distinguish when there is a difference in the
attitude of the adults. Whether an adult shows or does not show love
will have a significant impact on a child. Hence, we adults have to be
conscious with our behavior in the child's presence and be constantly
aware of the emotions we project to our children.
Nowadays, we
see people have become hardhearted so that their attitude towards
children is unpleasant. There are some who show much partiality toward
one gender, and there are some who don't treat others' children with
the same kindness or affection which they show to their own children.
It is common to see even people who claim that they act on the Qur'an
and Sunnah showing less interest in playing with their children or
giving them the due attention or expression of love.
The Prophet
(peace and blessings be upon him) is the model for the whole of
humankind. His attitude towards children was always compassionate and
merciful. Being fond of children, Prophet Muhammad showed great
interest in playing with them. His involvement in children's games
shows us the great importance in playing with our children. He would
have fun with the children who had come back from Abyssinia and tried
to speak in Abyssinian with them. It was his practice to give lifts on
his camel to children when he returned from journeys.
Prophet Muhammad never held back his love for the children and always
expressed his fondness to them. In one hadith Abu
Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated:
I
went along with Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) at
a time during the day but he did not talk to me and I did not talk to
him until he reached the market of Banu Qainuqa`. He came back to the
tent of Fatimah and said, "Is the little chap (meaning Al-Hasan)
there?" We were under the impression that his mother had detained him
in order to bathe him and dress him and garland him with sweet garland.
Not much time had passed that he (Al-Hasan) came running until both of
them embraced each other, thereupon Allah's Messenger (peace and
blessings be upon him) said, "O Allah, I love him; love him and love
one who loves him." (Muslim)
Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him), the servant of the
Prophet, had another recollection:
I
never saw anyone who was more compassionate towards children than
Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him). His son Ibrahim
was in the care of a wet nurse in the hills around Madinah. He would go
there, and we would go with him, and he would enter the house, pick up
his son and kiss him, then come back. (Muslim)
The
Prophet's love for children was not restricted to his children and
grandchildren. The scope of his mercy and affection embraced all
children, and he showed the same interest and gentleness to his
Companion's children. The following hadith narrated by Usamah ibn Zaid
(may Allah be pleased with him) shows this humane aspect of the
Prophet's personality:
Allah's Messenger used to put me
on (one of) his thighs and put Al-Hasan ibn `Ali on his other thigh,
and then embrace us and say, "O Allah! Please be merciful to them, as I
am merciful to them." (Bukhari)
Some people who were
not able to understand the power of expressing love to children
wondered why the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) played with
children and took such an interest in them. Narrated Abu Hurairah (may
Allah be pleased with him),
Allah's Messenger kissed
Al-Hasan ibn `Ali while Al-Aqra` ibn Habis At-Tamim was sitting with
him . Al-Aqra` said, "I have ten children and have never kissed one of
them." The Prophet cast a look at him and said, "Whoever is not
merciful to others will not be treated mercifully."
(Al-Bukhari)
The
Prophet was always concerned about everyone's thought and feeling. The
following hadith narrated by Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with
him) proves his thoughtful character:
The Prophet said,
"(It happens that) I start the prayer intending to prolong it, but on
hearing the cries of a child, I shorten the prayer because I know that
the cries of the child will incite its mother's passions."
(Al-Bukhari)
The Prophet was always patient and considerate with children and took
great pain not to hurt their tender feelings.
Narrated
Abu Qatadah: "The Messenger of Allah came towards us while carrying
Umamah the daughter of Abi Al-`As (Prophet's granddaughter) over his
shoulder. He prayed, and when he wanted to bow, he put her down, and
when he stood up he lifted her up." (Al-Bukhari)
In a another hadith,
Narrated
Umm Khalid: I (the daughter of Khalid ibn Said) went to Allah's
Messenger with my father and I was wearing a yellow shirt. Allah's
Messenger said, "Sanah, Sanah!" (`Abdullah, the narrator, said that
sanah meant "good" in the Ethiopian language). I then started playing
with the seal of prophethood (between the Prophet's shoulders) and my
father rebuked me harshly for that. Allah's Messenger said, "Leave
her." The Prophet, then, invoked Allah to grant her a long life thrice.
(Al-Bukhari)
In another narration we see the Prophet's tolerance towards
children.
Narrated
`A'ishah: The Prophet took a child in his lap ... and then the child
urinated on him, so he asked for water and poured it over the place of
the urine. (Al-Bukhari)
Finally I would like to add
another saying of the Prophet that proves that Muslims should be
conscious to treat their sons and daughters justly:
"Fear Allah and treat your children [small or grown]
fairly (with equal justice)." (Al-Bukhari and
Muslim)
From
all the above hadith we see Prophet Muhammad's attitude toward children
is an example for the whole human race that shows how to treat them and
cherish them at all times.
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